These words cronicle my time near Doha, Qatar for 5 months in 2005

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Hurricanes and Celebrities

My gulf coast friends have been keeping me in the loop on Hurricane Katrina. I have cable in my room here now and have been watching the news non stop, like if I was there... Today I saw these 2 airmen checking out gear to go forward to Iraq and they were watching the news... they both said... “well, I guess my house is gone.” I asked where they were from.  They said New Orleans.  Guys going to war having to worry about that crap back home... that's terrible.  I hope there is somebody there looking out for their interests.  I can’t imagine being single in a situation like that.

 

Drew Carey was here a couple nights ago.  I got a picture of him, but left my glow belt on so it looks like my waist is a supernova, which in one sense is good because the glow hides my fat gut.  Drew Carey was so vulgar, it was terrible.  He came with 4 other people who were even worse.  The church house put on some passion play for the “alternative activity”, so I'm glad they were not around to hear all the pu$$y jokes.  I left in the middle of the last act.  The guy was so vulgar and I could still hear his profanity echoing through the camp over the announcement system from near my trailer house.  I’ve heard nothing but the word vulgar to describe the evening here and I wonder if it was because the kindler, gentler Air Force has pet us into over sensitization – or if these comedians are just so off wack that they think it was okay to speak like that.  In a club at home, it’s okay… but when that’s the only thing in town to “do” and where you’re outside having their blasphemy resound across a military base in a muslim country.  I mean – they don’t even want us wearing pig skin boots (which begs the question why I can eat bacon for breakfast).

 

I just turned in my chemical gear crap that they make you cart all the way the hell over here just to turn in at the end of your assignment, but at least I don't have to cart it back.

 

Am in final stages of planning my post-deployment trips.  I’m very excited about this!  Bahamas… Key West!

 

Cheers

d

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I'm leaving!

Hello fans,

 

I’ve been meaning to do an extended blog about preparing to leave this place since I got my rotator information a few days ago.  I should be able to sleep in my own bed on Sept 8 – Inshalah.

 

I’m pretty reluctant to start new projects and have been spending my groundhog days of recent doing small things – writing nothing stories which the Air Force News Service decides to blow off – and instead of researching and writing my own press releases – I take other peoples stories and turn them out for my weekly press release quota that I’ve never met the entire deployment.

 

I’ve done a lot of work on making this lil’ notebook for my replacement – I even have her name placard printed out and ready to post on her cubby desk.  Saddly, my dog pouncing on a cat card that says “Life is one damned thing after another – Elbert Hubbard” will have to come down.  My friend Glenn sent it to me… As will my home-made card from mom and the beach scene post card from Lynn I have pasted on my singular cubby for motivation.

 

The lil’ notebook I’m making for my replacement is one giant brain dump of continuity… continuity can be the worst in the world so long as it is organized and pretty.  And I made a checklist of things to go over with Olivia Newton John (which isn’t her name, but what I’ve been calling her since I can’t remember her name).

 

As of today, I have been here 122 days – 90.1 percent of the deployment finished with only 1,153,398 seconds left to go… Less than 2 weeks… and with the ability to drink 39 more beers… I don’t think I’ve had an alcoholic beverage in 2 months… maybe that’s why I have such headaches.

 

I have a lot to look forward to upon my return… my shapeless hopes of plans to spend time with people important to me is taking shape… Mom has graciously offered to drive my car home this weekend so I’ll have it for my return… then I’m going to her house for my R&R.  After that – its to Florida where I will see Grams and then fly to Key West with Johnny for an extended weekend.  Then back to Grams where Lisa and Kyle are meeting me to go out of Orlando to the Bahamas on my first ever cruise… I’m so excited about this trip I could just pee!

 

The cruise was my first purchase on my new AMEX skymiles card… I finally got one.  With the amount of money I’m spending on travel this fall with my NYC trip in November too – I should have a free ticket soon.  I had wanted to visit my Fort Walton Beach peeps – but some of those peeps are coming to the Bahamas and its just too damn far to drive… my free ticket will be to go down there for spring sometime.

 

When I’m all done with my travels – I get to go home to DC to celebrate my 30th birthday.  I still have not decided exactly how to do this – but since I had such a great going away party that I threw for myself – I think I’ll do something similar on my big back deck.

 

Fall is my favorite season… so many things to look forward to this year – These trips, my party, Halloween which is by far my favorite holiday, NYC trip with a hotel overlooking Times Square for the Macy’s parade and shows Wicked and Odd Couple with mom there.  In December Evita comes to DC – so it will be a full-up season of theater.

 

So that’s it… my final thoughts about this place?  I have none.  My brain is fried. I just want to go home.  Thanks to all for the support, emails, cards, packages…

 

Well, with that all said, I need to go do some work.  This will likely be my last blog from here. 

 

Cheers,

d

Monday, August 08, 2005

what I told my replacement...

It is a good place to be if you have to deploy.

Today, The humidity of a couple weeks ago left with the wind, which right now is a steady 22knots gusting to 36.  At least it is only 106 degrees out, which believe it or not is nice comparatively.  Unfortunately the trade off for having no humidity is this consistent wind which burns your face and kicks up the sand.  Today is the worst sand I’ve seen – I had to walk with my hand covering my nose and mouth and pressing my sunglasses which have a rubber seal around them to my face so it didn’t get in my eyes. The temperature outside gets down to 100 at night... 115 during the day.  You dont go outside except to go to lunch and the caddy unless you really need to.  It is 168 steps from my desk to the mens caddy...  yours is a little farther.  You learn to walk from shade to shade.  While you are here, it will get cool and pleasant... Im told.  In April when I arrived, it was actually chilly at night.

When youre off work, youre in PT gear-either the new AF PT gear that doesn’t really fit anybody appropriately or youre own.  But its gotta be PT gear--basically elastic waist, mid-thigh or lower, no pockets (just to give you the visual).  Everybody looks bad.  You don’t even try.

You get to go off base as much as you want or can... we try to go off every Sunday night for dinner as Sundays are slow.  Theres a large mall and good deals on gold, pearls and other things in the souqs (shops).  You must wear pants or jeans (women can wear a skirt at/below knees) with closed-toed shoes and a collared shirt with short or long sleeves (no sleeveless).  The idea is to look neat and dressed.  I suggest Linen as you can dress it up for when you go to the Embassy - suggest at least 2 civilian outfits... and dont forget the shoes to go with it.

We live in long, 30-room trailers.  You will likely have a roommate Two (bunk) beds, two wall lockers for hanging stuff and shelves, a small refrigerator and two folding chairs.  Some people unbunk the beds, but honestly the rooms are too small for that.  Just bring a clip on light so you dont tick off your roommate with the overhead light... seems like everybodys roommate works the opposite shift as them.

The A/C gets cold, so bring some warm PJs.  The bathroom facilities are in large Cadillacs.  Women share 6 showers, 8 sinks and 15 toilets.  Im told there is a 5 minute window in our ladies caddy that actually has a line for the showers, so not so bad.  The caddies are conveniently located around the camp.  They are not just trailers, actually better constructed than that - tile floors...bring shower shoes... the only thing youre at risk of here is athletes foot.  Its not too bad and theres plenty of privacy for shower stalls from main toilet/sink area.  Buy yourself a shower caddy or cosmetic bag or whatever it takes to truck your shampoo, creams, hair products, etc.  to the shower each time.  I do part of my prep in the bathroom, part in my room.  And yes, its a little inconvenient in the middle of the night when you have to go to the bathroom, but were all in the same boat so you deal.  The electricity in the Cadillac is 110 so your blow dryer and/or curling iron, etc., will work fine in there.  The rooms in the trailer are all 220 so it requires converters and adapters, which are available here.

You wont need to bring sheets or a blanket, thats supplied, but theyre nasty... I brought 300 count twin sheets and it made a huge difference.  Youll also want to buy here or bring an egg crate unless you like sleeping on concrete mattresses.  Bring your own pillow if you have a preference for one, but they are supplied here as well.  Youll need a laundry bag for carting your dirty laundry back and forth to the laundry service-which is FREE.  Its 3-day turnaround, and they wash and press uniforms, so dont bother with an iron.  Everything else isneatly folded and packaged in plastic for pick-up.  There is also another laundry/dry cleaning service available, but you pay for that.  Ive never used it.  Basically, I brought clothes that didnt matter; i.e., Im going to toss them out and not bring home.  Dont bring your good stuff, cause the laundry service will boil it all together in scalding hot water.  Everything will take on the hue of black socks and T-shirts (unless you go white and brown). 

The base is split into three parts, but Coalition Compound is where you sleep.

In CC you have: Large BX - but bring your own items - they run out fast of things and may not have your desired brand, giant swimming pool, Pizza Hut (its not the same), Burger King, Subway, Dairy Queen/Orange Julius, 31 flavors, Spa with masseuse, Great gym, Large outdoor pavilion called the Bra for obvious reasons when you see it, Large movie theater with up to date movies, Library, A couple of cafes, A starbucks style coffee house, Gift stores, And lots more

The office usually all eat lunch and dinner together too unless were annoyed at each other - which is often (you really get tired of the same people every groundhog day)... Our side has a work out facility too.

We share a ford explorer... we usually all ride in to work together, eat breakfast at work (our chow hall is better) and ride home together... hours are 0700 - 1900 ish... very flex.  We are 24/7 though, so you will have to work weird hours on occasion... it is incredibly annoying on weekends when youre at work at 9pm trying to get something done and America is picnicking.

Your workspace is a 3 foot stretch of desk crammed with 2 monitors, 2 computers and a phone... you sit on top of the other 2 Colonels and it is hotter than hell .

I have about 4 weeks left here… I can’t wait.

d

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

101 Days

The last time I cared about 100 days, it was 100 days till commissioning.  Now I’m 101 days into this deployment and I’m ready to cut my ears off with a dull knife and claw myself out of my skin I’m so antsy to get out of here.  The more I stew about being here I just get more annoyed. I’m restless, bored, tired and hot 24-7… there’s no stopping it.  One of these days, the groundhog will crawl out of its hooch and not see its shadow and I’ll be able to go home. All of this is just a result of the proximity to being able to go home and sleep in my own bed.

Yesterday was particularly terrible for no particular reason other than I don’t want to be here anymore so I decided to finally take a logical approach to my “I want out of the Air Force” days.  I’m keeping a log. If I’m miserable in my career more days than I’m willing to be miserable over the next 6 months, then I’m pulling the plug.  I’ve not decided how many miserable days are acceptable so I’m taking suggestions from anybody – how many days are you miserable in your jobs during a given week?  Once I get a mean average of what a typical American is supposed to endure, then I’ll decide how many I’m willing to endure.  I will however probably forget to log in the log by tomorrow effectively making that idea moot.  I’m too lazy these days to follow through with any long term plans.

GQ did a fantastic article on the idea of throwing away your career for something you’ve always wanted to do… completely change gears.  Some guy left the keys in his Porsche in the middle of the street along with his lawyer/doctor/high-stakes-financier whatever he was job was to go hike the north pole.  Did I already blog about this?  GQ had quite a few vignettes about people taking a 180 to do what they really want to do.  When I was a kid I wanted to be a lawyer… sometimes that thought crosses my mind still – I’m methodical and am a libra (balance) so you’d think I’d be good at that. The idea popped into my head as a kid when we took a family vacation to Boston and saw Harvard…  I don’t have the dog-eat-dog mentality to do that though. I always wanted to be an architect too, drawing houses as a kid was my normal pastime. I didn’t go anywhere without my geek-o-briefcase filled with graph paper, colored pencils and rulers.  I just forgot to go to a college that offered Architecture.

Then there was all this business about being in the military… I got a scholarship, I joined… I’m still here. It was never a deliberate decision… it just happened.  I can’t say it was a bad decision.  People ask my why I joined. I don’t know, I just did it… kind of like when I bought that BMW that I only had for 4 months. I’ve had exceptional opportunities and experiences and met some wonderful people who will be life long friends. I wouldn’t have ever had all that without the military…  but it wasn’t a conscious decision – ever – do to this.  If I took my 180, I wonder what I’d do?  Probably nothing… as my eyes jump back to that line 2 grafs ago about being too lazy to follow through with any long term plans.

So has anybody seen the news about President Bush wanting to expose children in schools to “intelligent design?”  I’ve decided this is the new PC secular way to say “creationism.”  What the hell else out there besides God would there be that’s intelligent that could have created the universe if you don’t buy into the big bang theory, or does intelligent design also encompass little red men from mars too? Did somebody scratch out that sentence in the constitution – something about separation between a couple of things?  I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to expose kids to ideas, but why would we open the doors to let our government instead of those kids parents give that exposure?  Blatant disregard of our governments roles and responsibilities to go down that road if you ask me.

The second 3 dollar phrase I’ve seen in the news recently is the Bush administration’s deliberate decision to reshape the ‘global war on terrorism’ to one of a ‘struggle against violent extremism.’  Does this change in rhetoric mark the end of the war? Does this signify a forthcoming draw down? Why the change? As a professional spin doctor cough cough, sorry ‘corporate communicator’ – you don’t make such a change without good reason.  Being on this side of the war and having to monitor it through open source media accounts, the new phraseology ticks me off… Didn’t anybody happen to notice what happened in London a few weeks ago?  Jack Straw, the UK Foreign Minister seems to think its inexplicably linked to the UK’s participation in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Do both phrases encapsulate what’s going on? Yeah – but a struggle makes me think of a quagmire where we can’t figure out how to put our pants on straight – a global war makes me think of bombs going off in double decker busses while 6 U.S. Marines die in a single day in Iraq.  If we as a society swallow this deliberately planned perception shift, we’ve totally lost the bubble on reality.

Off to fight a ‘struggle against violent extremism’

d

Monday, August 01, 2005

Potter 6

I've not written a book report in ages and I've never been in a book club, but here's my review of what I'd say to Harry Potter and the half-blood prince (#6) which I just finished yesterday.
Either I read all the other ones so back-to-back that I remembered everything easily, or she changed her writing style... Half the characters from previous books that were introduced mid-story, I don't remember who they are or how they fit in and she didn't re-introduce them well... Who the hell was Tonks? Took me forever to remember Lupin was the wearwolf... and she also threw out magical bits and bots here and there that you're "expected" to remember what the hell it did or does from 3 books ago w/o any explanation... What was a Pensive? What was a Bezoar? What did the Crucio curse do?
This was my least favorite of the Potters because of that... Ok story line though... very different than the others - gives back story that should have been given in the chamber of secrets book #3... course then that one you'd have needed a wheel barrel to cart around.
The ending was a bit rushed... I think she realized - oh, I need to kill off somebody, let me throw that in using only 20 pages when I should have started that story line 300 pages ago... but oops, don't want another million page book. Highly disappointing ending... I almost felt like it was a John Grisham novel.
Parts were far too predictable... Although I didn't see the end coming, I knew "whodunit" six books ago... and who the half-blood prince was? Duh... I didn't need Hermoine's research to help me with that...
Up until this point, I never felt the books were strictly for children... but all the middle school "snogging," was a bit too juvenile for the adult readership... If Ron and Hermoine are going to get it on (which they don't)... then plant them butt-naked in the Room of Requirement (I need a room to screw my girlfriend said 3x walking past where the door should be) doin' the deed while Kreacher films it (okay, maybe that's a bit too adult).
So now I've moved on to Wicked - the story of the wicked witch of the west.
Today, my boss announced she would be going back to the other side of the base to work out during the middle of the day. What a great idea! So I went too. It was perfect work-outing time... maybe I can incorporate this into my weekly routine to go back mid-day to do this a few times a week. There is a gym on this side, but like 2 showers that are real gross - not interested! And by the time I get off work I'm so flappin tired that there's no way in hell I'm going to work out... I like this new thing! I worked off at least one of my two lunchtime corn dogs on the elliptical machine.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Can it be? Do I like country music?

Can it really be that I have an affection for an up and coming country music star who cut his teeth in Iraq and wrote some twangs about it?   I know for a brief stint in my life I actually admitted an appreciation for this genre, but never since.  I was living in San Antonio and part of the resident application process to get that no-state-tax benefit of Texas was to mark that you will willingly listen to country music on the forms. How could I not like it there having to drive by “the house that garth (or was it hank or, who’s that other guy?) built.  Anyway, this soldier turned singer Luke Stricklin, whose voice does not match his 20-something body in the photos (http://www.lukestricklin.com/ ) has some lyrics that had I been in Iraq and not at Camp Cupcake, would have touched me more than they already have.  My whopping 2 days in Afghanistan showed me enough to know that what he speaks is true and his words have a strong message about the importance of knowing how lucky we are to be born in America… to have the free will to sit on our ass, eat potato chips and curse out Oprah and the President from our trailer house… or to actually go out in the world and make something of ourselves from nothing.

I wrote a twang myself about last night do you think I could be a star?

I was snoozin’ in my trailer house

All was quiet as a mouse

When a big black man came in my room

Just got off the plane, ain’t leavin’ soon.

(refrain):

I miss my dog, I miss my truck

I miss my trailer, and darn the luck

I got a roommate again

I got a roommate again.

I said howdy to this stranger

Made my greetings, hid my anger

While he chucked his bags through the door

So much crap, can’t see my floor

(Refrain)

two months long, I had it good

Stick me with a guy I knew they would

Thank god he don’t smell like funk

And I’m keeping the bottom bunk

(refrain)




Thursday, July 28, 2005

Life lessons through jewelry

One of the things I purchased for myself here was a silver puzzle ring. Below is a website from a commercial place that sells them.  I paid $9 for mine… theirs sells for $47. I think that’s a pretty good deal.  Well, I busted mine last Sunday and was very glad I had only paid $9 for it.  I had fiddled with it all week to see if I could put it together again… 8 rings – 6 of which are parallel and 2 of which intersecting.  How exactly do you make 2 intersecting rings parallel to the other 6? That’s the puzzle.  I had been able to fit the 6 rings together after some deliberate thought, but I couldn’t make those last 2 fit in… to top it off, those last 2 are the top most crosses, but the inner most rings on the bottom, yet have to be put in last.  After a few tries of forcing it, throwing it back across the room (like I did with ‘Once and Future King’ in the 11th grade), and trying a few methodical tries I finally got it back together. When it came back together, I had the 6 other rings fanned out and there was a point at which I saw the other 2 were going to make it… I tweaked them just a bit and shazaam, it was back together.

I learned a few things though this trial and error

-       Just because its cheap and broke, doesn’t mean you should throw it away if it could be salvaged and you like it

-       Some things take a little thought and effort to make right again.
-       Things that are supposed to fit together but don’t at the moment can’t be forced too… they will come together only when everything is in its place.

-       Patience and persistence can work to get you something that you want.

Life lessons through jewelry

http://www.puzzlering.com/Buy%20Puzzle%20Ring%20Top/Silver%20Puzzle%20Rings%20B/8BSS2.htm

d